I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
