yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
