weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
