Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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