How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
