Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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