Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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