I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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