u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
