at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
