Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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