Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sext me about skeletons
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
