No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
