Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
