you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
