Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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