i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
