Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
3 2 1 whiskey
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
