Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
