think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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