Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
