Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
