I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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