Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
