so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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