OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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