I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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