its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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