Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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