Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
