Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
