I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
