oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
