In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
