what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Randomize
