im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
