Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im holly from the hills drunk
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
