But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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