I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
