Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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