You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
