oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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