once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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