69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
