I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
