haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
