I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I have feelings that need drinking.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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