His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We left the knife in your bed.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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