The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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