Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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