well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
