But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
