Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
