Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Someone signed my nipple.
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