There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
